Iklan

The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o' the Day: "Get Off the Heroin, Brad!" - The Portland Mercury

The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.

grabbag.jpg

One way to inform the world of your many varied complaints is to submit them to the I, Anonymous Blog. Another way is to... well, see for yourself in this I, Anonymous submission called, "Town Crier."

Brad, get off the heroin! I say that on behalf of the entire block, and your girlfriend, who was screaming at you on her cell phone while sitting on her front stoop at 6:45 am this morning. She's screaming at you, Brad, and you won't take this seriously. Brad, don't you realize what she's "done for you"? You're "not even listening" to her. We're all listening to her now, Brad. We have to listen. She's screaming at the top of her lungs, Brad. "Why the fuck did you do it?" Why, Brad? She is "so angry right now!" She's waking up the entire street for you, Brad, and you don't even "get it"! She can't believe you're laughing! The neighborhood's not laughing. We're all concerned about your drug problem now. We have to be. I don't think the neighborhood can believe you would do this to her. Think about it, Brad: Your girlfriend is hot. She's so together. If you don't change your ways, I think the neighborhood might make a move and steal her away from you. But that's just between you, me, and the neighborhood she woke up at 6:45 am.—Anonymous

Do you have a message for Brad (or perhaps everyone else in the world)? Get it off your chest ANONYMOUSLY by submitting your rant or confession to the I, Anonymous Blog. (And don't miss the heee-larious I, Anonymous Show, where we read the blog's craziest submissions live onstage! It goes down the first Wednesday of every month at Curious Comedy Theater. Check it out!)

Let's block ads! (Why?)

Labels: Quotes of the day

Thanks for reading The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o' the Day: "Get Off the Heroin, Brad!" - The Portland Mercury. Please share...!

0 Comment for "The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o' the Day: "Get Off the Heroin, Brad!" - The Portland Mercury"

Back To Top