Many years ago, I was talking to the fellow who taught me to meditate. I mentioned that I was afraid that I was not doing enough to serve G-d. Or…I was afraid that G-d had wanted me to do or be something that I was not doing/being. He asked me the following question: “What if you were sent here to help one person and you have already done that?” —Wayne McKibbin
Many of us, religious or not, question ourselves and our role in the world: are we doing enough? Is what we’re doing meaningful or helpful? Whether we’re overachievers or committed to making a difference in the world, or if we just want to be a good parent, spouse, or friend, these questions come up.
I love the question that Wayne McKibbin asked my friend. The point was not whether her work on this earth had already been completed, but rather that it’s difficult to be certain what we are meant to do, how we can best do it, when we should spend the time (or not) to help another person or group of people, and if we have struck the right balance in contributing to life.
I ask myself these questions less often than I used to, mainly because I’ve pretty much identified at this particular time of my life what I’ve been called to do. Most of what I do focuses on religious study, keeping up on current events, keeping fit, and writing for my friends at Ricochet. My postings might be personal reflections, the state of the world, inspiring occurrences, or something that simply moved me. I also take steps to maintain good health and be a good wife and friend. And when I am well enough, I will return to volunteering for hospice.
Don’t misunderstand me: sometimes Life changes its mind, and other opportunities show up. At those times I try to discern whether I’d be taking on too much, whether it’s time to let something go or to cut back, or whether the new temptation is just a passing fancy. And Life can take its time clarifying what I need to do. But It will show me, eventually.
Every now and then I slip up and neglect one area or another that engages me. Rather than beat myself up, I apologize, try to make an assessment of how my life is going and make adjustments where necessary.
I only hope that G-d will agree that what I’m doing is enough.
How do you make these choices in your life?
[photo from unsplash.com]
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